If only, I had more time. If only, I didn't have this going on. If only I could do this first, then I would do that. If only, I wasn't afraid. If only, if only, if only.
I was a master of the "If Only" excuse. If only I didn't get off work so late, I could work out. If only I had willpower, I could eat healthier. If only I didn't weigh so much, I would train for a 5K. If only I liked the way I looked, I would stay motivated. If only...
I tried diet after diet, workout plans, eating only meat, giving up sugar. I jumped in head first and a few days later, I would have a huge falling out. If only...
When my blood pressure was becoming an issue, my doctor said lose weight and get your bp down, or you'll have to take medication. I am not a fan of taking pills, and I am less of a fan of paying for pills so I decided to try again.
This time was different. There could not be If Only in my vocabulary. I had to do more. That is when I came to the realization that my inner joy did not match my outward appearance. I decided it was time to take action. Yes, I went on "a diet". However, I did more than just watch my calories and exercise. I looked at who I really was as a human, a woman, and a child of God. No matter if I lost weight or not, I grasped what God really did when he created me. He made me in His image. He put in me His qualities. He gave me a spirit of loving others, giving encouragement to those in need,
finding joy in the simple things, and being excited to be His daughter. I have a joy that no one can
take away because Christ lives within me. God created me to share my joy, lift others up, be His face to others. After all, I was made in His image. God made me.
I want others to see Christ in me. I want them to see joy, happiness, compassion, a loving spirit, and hope. I don't want them to see a girl that doesn't like herself because she's heavy, unhealthy, or just down about nothing fitting in her closet.
So, "If Only" is packed away. The excuses are done. I am taking ownership of being the woman God wants me to be.
Great start, Sarah! You are an inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm hoping this helps me and anyone who reads it.
DeleteVery motivational, Sarah:). I agree.. we should not focus on how we got here and wish for a different past by saying If only this or that.. But focus on where we ought to be and how to get there from here... It is daunting to consider long term aspirations based on our past performance alone, by our efforts and not fully sacrificing our pride and desires to His will and in prayer. So remember 1 Cor 4:13.
ReplyDeleteAnd why have we not accomplished something yet, if it is placed in our hearts desire, seemingly in God's will for us to attempt our best at? My theory is either 1) We haven't fully given the solution and our efforts up to God(i.e. we hesitate or doubt based on our assumptions and limitations we place on what God can change in us or our situation), or 2) It may simply not be God's timing for us to realize or achieve our hearts desire. I am impatient, and often.. So there are some times when I wonder if both arent true when it comes to myself discipline in trouble areas in my life.
I believe Sometimes the true blessing isnt the result, but the journey to realize it's not us changing our situation, but God making us realize all things are possible through him. And only him. To realize the struggle and submission to let Him guide is what is the most satisfying about eating healthier, exercising more, being more financially responsible, giving more, listening more. Our failures are what He loves when they make us realize how much we need Him. So we can value the goals attained or gifts we give, by the love and discipline it required, more than the pride from having the better body, loving partner, promotion at work, or bank account we woud like..
I believe He doesnt pride in our achieving success.. but in the daily struggles and failures we have to work through over and over where we seek His grace and mercy and rediscover He alone is worthy. Our greatest efforts and accomplishments are meaningless and momentary, unless we truly do them to glorify Him, and not ourselves. So thanks, again, for the inspiration, Sarah. You've really made me rethink some big things.. well to me, anyway:) So here's to renouncing our limiting negative thoughts of 'if only', since (how does the children's VBS song go?) "There's nothing my God cannot do"